New life for the families of fallen heroes 

Oksana Lukyanchenko and her daughter now live in Zaporizhzhia. The family moved here when the Russian army occupied their native town of Melitopol. Adapting to the new reality was not easy, and it became even harder when she lost her husband on the frontline. Looking for help, Oksana came to the newly set up Rehabilitation Centre, where she and her daughter received psychological support and physical rehabilitation. We interviewed Oksana to hear more about her experience.

“From the first day at the Centre, I really liked it. The atmosphere was very good. Everything was clean and beautiful,” she recollects. “While I was waiting for my child, a gentleman standing next to me said that I could also receive support at the Centre, including physical rehabilitation, psychological help, and others. I brought my child here, but I found a treasure for myself too. It was such a surprise,” remembers Oksana with a laugh

Oksana’s daughter Alisa struggled with back pain and needed professional help. “She draws a lot and sits in this position” [demonstrating a hunched position]. “Iryna, the doctor at the Centre, provided massage therapy, prescribed physical therapy, and looked after her. I trust her; I understand now what my girl needs and why. Back in Melitopol, I also looked for these things, but I only heard that massage was not a possibility yet and that they did not know when it would be available. Here, we received the needed help immediately—they took her in and gave her the first massage without any delays. I think this will all pay off, and Alisa’s back will be better,” Oksana tells about her first visits to the Rehabilitation Centre.

While Alisa was getting a massage and physical therapy, her mother started exercising with a physical therapy specialist, Dmytro.

“Dmytro demonstrates and explains to me how to do the exercises correctly and according to my needs and abilities. He first inquired about my condition and complaints and then showed me everything. After each session, I feel energetic, happy, and I smile!” recalled Alisa. “I wish it would never end,” she added.

In addition to sports and rehabilitation, Oksana and her daughter started seeing a psychologist at the Centre. Psychotherapy helps them cope with the terrible loss and mourning they are going through.

“I lost my husband three months ago. We’re struggling now; it’s so difficult. He was a great family man and a perfect dad to Alisa,” Oksana shared, tears in her eyes. “My husband, Vadym, joined the armed forces from the first days of the war. We lost our home due to occupation and moved here but still cherished our brief meetings between service; when he would come back home, we would run to him and hug him tight. And we don’t have that anymore. He was supposed to come back for vacation during the summer…”

According to Oksana, her daughter took the loss of her father particularly hard.

“At first, it seemed that everything was relatively fine, but then she started saying things like, ‘Mom, something is happening. I suddenly feel very scared. I’m afraid of everything around me. I don’t know what’s going on with me.’ The Centre’s psychologist, Lyudmyla, took Alisa in for weekly sessions and recommended a book to read. Alisa says she still doesn’t feel well and believes that more time and more consultations will be needed.”

Oksana, who tries her best to stay strong for her daughter, admits that it is extremely difficult for her as well.

“Children need support. But I need it too. My husband managed to… somehow, you know, cheer me up a little. ‘Everything will be fine,’ he would say, ‘I will come back home soon.’ Now that’s over; no one will call me back, no one will support me. The phone is silent; that’s all,” Oksana expresses her grief.

Oksana admits that after her husband’s death, she felt completely alone for some time. She even felt that her friends, whose husbands were still in service, could not relate to her situation.

“They are doing fine, you know. And my story is completely different. With a burden this heavy, I cannot be like them.”

Oksana and Alisa continue seeing a psychologist. Although they have a difficult path ahead, they now know that they are no longer alone.

Rehabilitation Centre psychologist

Lyudmyla Sviridova works with many visitors whose lives have been touched and destroyed by the war. She keeps reminding them to seek help and not remain alone and silent about their problems.

“It is important to acknowledge your feelings and give yourself time to recover. Psychological support is not a sign of weakness, but a path to recovery and a return to normal life,” she says.

Olha Nesterenko, a teacher at the Centre’s children’s space and the teens’ hub, also shares her observations:

“My colleagues and I see that due to uncertainty, children and teens have increased anxiety, difficulties controlling their emotions, and trouble concentrating. Some are hyperactive, while others have extremely limited socialisation with peers and adults. Often, they have not only dad or mom but also other relatives on the frontline. Some had to leave their homes and routines that they were used to since childhood. This double burden on their psychological health cannot be underestimated and must be addressed with a lot of attention, ‘live’ interaction with peers, and sometimes psychotherapy.”

The war continues, leaving physical and mental scars on Ukrainians, and it is extremely important that they seek professional help.

“I think all forced migrants need psychological support and some kind of physical therapy, which could be massage, for example, but they cannot find time for it. People ask, ‘Where is it happening? Oh, so it is so far away.’ Yes, the centre is about ten bus stops away from us, but we do not hesitate because we get energy recharged here,” says Oksana.

The “Checkpoint” project is co-funded by the European Union and the Ministry of Foreign Affairs of the Republic of Lithuania and administered by the Central Project Management Agency of the Republic of Lithuania.

The Open Lithuania Foundation is lending its expertise in the implementation of the project.